Liberated spirit ....

When, I wonder, when is a spirit ... my spirit, my will free? Do you have to devote your whole life for it, as Buddhist monks and Indian gurus, to reach this goal?
Could I use this "free spirit" then to make my thoughts or even reject specific thoughts, ... not allowing? So, just think what is good for me, makes me happy ...?
Thus I would create myself new? Am I still am I then? Or am I just me? Could I reject all the negative behind me, all that, but also what makes me, joy, sorrow ... Love, pain ... all that, of course influenced me as well, and partly loaded and has blocked me .....
Often you hear today, with our thoughts we make inside ourselves, what is happening outside ...
If you are only life to "see" that ...?
On the other hand ... to reach/have such a "liberated spirit" / you only have to make your own decision to determine emotional, physical and intellectual one-sidedness. But who is so "strong willed" and even if,am I then pure love or pure ego?
Do I not determine all my thoughts in anyway? Conscious and "unconscious"? .........

I am me ..... Free .......