Obsession or Love?

How do I know, wheter it is love or an obsession?
(Erotomania or De-Clérambault-Syndrom) Obsession is a kind of passionable Mania. The criterion for "de Clérambault" was the unshakable faith, to be loved of the target person. That person lives mostly in a higher social environment.
"de Clérambault" divided the development into three stages. Advertised after a stage full of pride in the hope and optimism to the adored one, came the stage of grief, in the sense of disappointed love and then the stage of the grievance by the admirer trying to enforce his claims, sometimes in a dangerous manner. There is always in front of the imagination, to be loved by that other person. That person often feels they have been restricted in there life and has often even compassion. A "NO" from the adored one, will not be accepted. Some of them even interpret this refusal as a challenge, merely to give even more effort, into making their courtship hearder. Through phone calls, letters, gifts, visits, or even by monitoring and one steal he/she wants to win this love. The delusions usually refers more to an idealized romantic love and emotional connectedness, than on sexual attraction.
Only by absolute prohibition of contact and concomitant a therapy (often the cause are processed in a unprocessed grief for a loved one), can help. Because an obsession has definitely two victims.
I think with this description you can realise the difference between an Obsession and Love. While Obsession is usually an ordeal of suffering and pain; Love shows, joy, even if Love sometimes hurts, its still giving you the feeling of happiness, warmth, be at home, tenderness and physical demand.

Letter to my child

I felt your heart beating under my heart for months. In my gut I felt you stomp, turn around, sleep and grow. I felt the wonder, while your soul began more and more to dwell in you. When you were born, I was overwhelmed with a special love, a love that only the miracle of birth can give you; holding you in my arms. It is a feeling, that will give you shelter and release you, so that you can find your own way. Each child must make his own mistakes or expiriences, but I felt, that I want to tell you a little bit about what I learned in my life. So here it is....
If you are looking for a job, looking for something that fits you, because then it is no work. Do not look for recognition, status or wealth, but search for so long, until you'll find what you really want to do from your deepest soul, for yourself and for the world. Therein lies your challenge and your greatest happiness. Trust in your decisions on the wisdom of your body, because intuition can thrive in an energetic feeling in your stomach, the hairs on your arms, that will high standing or in the resistance in your legs, suddenly it's a little bit harder to move in a direction .
Forget about the advantages and disadvantage list, because you only get further away from what you in fact already know. Your mind is not there to make a choice, but to understand them.
If a partner tells you, that he is too complex or not suitable for a relationship, believe him. If he is the right one, if you have found the true love for you, it brings you no more tears, you'll have no worries and nothing to hide. It is simple and besides your butterflies in your stomach, you feel an inner peace. Accept your passion and do not be ashamed of your desire.
The sensuality of a woman does not make it less worth, but more powerful and valuable. Enjoy it on a clean manner.
Just be aware of your own creativity and see how everything goes its way, to make you stronger and wiser --- even the obstacles in your path.
Do not connect with all the horrors of this world, but direct your love and beauty to your immediate surroundings. If something crosses your path, trade by honor and conscience, and do always your best.
Search in the turmoil of everydays life for a bit of silence, to see the truth. If you can't find what you seek for in yourself, you'll never find it. You don't need someone to find the truly sacred in yourself. And you have no need to interpret the sacred in you. Be critical and think independently, even about things that everyone believes to be true, and takes it for granted.
My dear Child, keep as long as possible in your heart, where you come from, and I am grateful that our souls have found each other again.

With deep and endless Love

Your Mom

Forgiveness

Being Alive !!!

Being Alive - Julian Ovenden

The Corrs - Everybody hurts (with lyrics)

I soar.....

I soar,
High above in clear skies
Fast over hedges
And close upon trees.
I soar
Into the colours that bath my soul
I soar
Through slow motion rain that strikes just like ice
Before pelting the ground
I soar
With my fingertips touching the earth
And lightening down my spine
I soar
With acceptance complete
And a freedom unending
I soar
Like the shivering birds wing
And the toe of a mouse
I soar
With the boldness of a lion
And a scream of an Eagle
I soar
Like the gentle touch of water
Understanding, my knowing

Joseph Campbell--On Becoming an Adult

As the Mirror for the Ego

The Rose(Janis Joplin)

Love?! what is it....

Love is perhaps the highest attempt of the nature, to lead the individual out of itself and to the other.
Whitout love:
Sense of duty without love makes annoying, responsibility without love makes inconsiderate, justice without love makes hard, truthfulness without love makes criticism, addicted cleverness without love makes deceitful, friendliness without love makes hypocritical, order without love makes petty, knowledge without love makes dogmatic, power without love makes cruel, honor without love makes arrogant, property without love makes avaricious, faith without love makes fanatic.....
It is easier to love all as one. The love for all humanity usually costs nothing but a phrase, the love of one requires sacrifices....
Maybe you think, that love means something else or something different to you, pls; comment, thank you .... :)

A New Dream ( Metta)

Herbert Grönemeyer - Mensch (englische Version) + text

Human....

Give yourself more rest ....

A small Zen story:

A student asks his master: How did your enlightenment exercises in everyday life?
The master says: While I eat and sleep ...
But Master, everyone eats and sleeps, the student said, disappointed.
As the Master said: But no one eats when he eats and sleeps when he sleeps ....

Flooding stress and nervous breakdowns resulting in today's "fast" time of frequent extreme overloads. Often it comes from outside, but even if you tried to dance "on too many weddings," because you want it so please everyone, there will follow a slow summing of situations, that also can show chronicle health problems, depressions, or continues to a so-called "burn out,".

But what to do?
First of all, you just can not fullfill any demanding of everyone anyway, and so at in the end you're overwhelmed and you do exactly what you dont want to do. You must prioritize things, or only half of the workest will be done, you seem to be unreliable, you will disappoint or hurt. At the end you're standing there alone again and wonder what you've done wrong again?
So, take your rest ... focus on yourself, learn to let(pressure, pain, the claims of others, etc.) go. It does not have to be the great self-realization or knowledge, it's just for a few minutes, every day, simply "relax." Meditation, it is called today, entirely modern:).
Feel your body...

Are you restless or nervous, take a short time out,
Lie or sit down, relax,
close your eyes and direct your attention inwards,
feel any physical excitation which you notice, do not try to control or influence it,
observe the excitations
each excitation is perceived and taken seriously
feel into your belly, because he grumbles, then turn your attention to it and relax this point, for example with a warm smile, introspective..
you feel for example a pressure in the head...,
then relax, your eyes peeled in the region and even there, sending a warm smile
no matter where your feelings lead you, send a loving and warm smile,
In this way, you will gradually relax your entire body and an openness with your conscious attention will come to yourself,
The restlessness and nervousness will deal with the time into relaxation and you will find it pleasant and warm.

Lion King 2 - Kovus Requiem - "Wenn ein Lied" (eng sub)

Ich Kenne Nichts (english subtitles)

Secrets of Love

The power of thought
Love begins with our thoughts.
We get what we think. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships.
Affirmations can change our beliefs and views about ourselves and others.
If we want to love someone, we must consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner in helping us to recognize him when he crossed our path.
The power of respect
You can only love someone or something, or if it or he/she is respected.
First you need to respect yourselve.
To develop self-respect, you should ask: "What do I like about me?"
To respect other people, even those that are unpleasant one, ask yourself: "What I admire about him or her?"
The Power of Giving
If you want to receive love, then first you have to give it! To love is to give away something of yourself, voluntarily, without any conditions.
Be friendly without intention.
Ask before you tie yourself, not by what you will have of your partner, but rather what he is getting from you.
The secret formula for a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to be always focused on what you can give, instead of taking.
The Power of Friendship
In order to find true love, you must first find a true friend.
Love does not need to look allways into each others eyes, but in the same direction.
To love someone completely you must love him the way he/she is, and not because of his appearance.
Friendship is the soil, thrives on the love.
If you want a relationship filled with love, you must bring in friendship.
The power of Touching
The Touch is one of the strongest proofs of love. Breaking down barriers and connects people.
Touching changes the body and mind and make us susceptible to love.
A touch can heal the body and warm the heart.
If we spread our arms, we open our hearts.
The Power of Letting Go
If you love something/one, let it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if not, it was never yours.
Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space.
If we want to learn how to love, we must first learn how to forgive and let go past pain and past hurts.
Love means, our fears, prejudices, egos and our ifs and buts, to let go.
"Today I let go of all my fears. What used to be, no longer has power over me. Today I begin a new life. "
The power of communication
If we learn to be open and honest, our life changes.
To love someone is to communicate with him.
Let the one you love, know that you love her/him and appreciate her/him. Never be afraid to say these three words: ". I love you"
Never let pass an opportunity to praise others.
Say goodbye to people you love, with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them.
The Power of Commitment
If you want to experience love, you have to feel obliged about her, and that commitment will be in your thoughts and deeds of their expression.
The degree of liability is the touchstone of true love. If you want to have loving relationships, you have to feel obligated.
If you feel obliged to someone or something, then giving up is not an option.
The degree of Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a firm.
The Power of Passion
Passion ignites love and keeps it alive.
Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction, but out of deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement.
You can revive the passion again, by recreating past experiences, when you felt passionate.
Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. Love and happiness arise from the same root, we only need to live each day with passion.
The power of trust
Trust is the bedrock of any love relationship. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful, while the other one has the feeling of being trapped, suffocated.
You can not love someone completely unless you trust him/her completely.
Act as if your relationship to the love will never end.
If you want to know if you've found the right one, ask yourself: "Can I trust him completely and unconditionally" If you have to deny it, you should again think carefully about it, before you tie yourself.

Crossroads

How many times in your life you have to make a decision; that you are at a crossroad, heart or mind ... the mind is telling you, go this way, it will give you security, then you've everything under control, you can do it, because here you will not be hurten.
Your heart is telling you, no, go the other way, to redeem yourself from your patterns, that you provide true security, because you're used to, because you know them and have learned to deal with them, even if it hurts .... but it'll shows you a new perspective, new feeling, new love, new happiness, on the other side you can grow, learn.
So what to do?!
If I decide not to listen to my heart, I decide against myself ..
In the long run it is my soul, that the unhappiness, the stagnation in my life, will not accept. But how should she tell me ...?.... she will tell it to myself through my body.
Will I get problems with the eyes, then I may not like what I see ..
Or for example women that have problems with the uterus / genitals are suffering from: deep anger, problems with the masculine / feminine aspect, deny / hide the real me (playing a role), the need to dominate/control
Hurts my gall bladder, that has to do with bitterness, anger, and too much pride.
My hip hurts.... then I might be afraid to make a decision, afraid to go forward? Or my knee? I'm stubborn, inflexible, intransigent, I don't wanna move?
That is the way my soul will talk to me, "telling me," that is not good for you, it will make you unhappy, doubtful and ill, there you are at the wrong path. The organ will show me the psychological problems; pain in the throat: I can't say what I want to say, I gulp down too much, I have determined the frequent neck problems, migraine headaches and it shows me a blockade against myself, to high self-criticism, self-doubt and fear ... an inward to be driven.

I think that many people who already have a problem with them selfs, have to take the time to look into a mirror and tell themself with all there heart, that they love themselves. Well, there already it starts. I want others to consider me as "lovable", if I can't even like, respect myself, or even think that I'm nothing ... I also radiate it ... So, look into the mirror and into your own eyes, your own "mirror of the soul", where each person sees in itself, a creature that is not only lovable and beautiful, you will see someone very special. And this is not such an esoteric blather ....
Everything we think, what is not endearing to/about us, is anyway, most of the time a silly chatter of other people or from parents or "friends" ....

So, look at you, feel you and you will realize that you are a beautiful person :-)))

Ludovico Einaudi - "Divenire" - Live @ Royal Albert Hall London

Divenire -- the Emergence, the being

Liberated spirit ....

When, I wonder, when is a spirit ... my spirit, my will free? Do you have to devote your whole life for it, as Buddhist monks and Indian gurus, to reach this goal?
Could I use this "free spirit" then to make my thoughts or even reject specific thoughts, ... not allowing? So, just think what is good for me, makes me happy ...?
Thus I would create myself new? Am I still am I then? Or am I just me? Could I reject all the negative behind me, all that, but also what makes me, joy, sorrow ... Love, pain ... all that, of course influenced me as well, and partly loaded and has blocked me .....
Often you hear today, with our thoughts we make inside ourselves, what is happening outside ...
If you are only life to "see" that ...?
On the other hand ... to reach/have such a "liberated spirit" / you only have to make your own decision to determine emotional, physical and intellectual one-sidedness. But who is so "strong willed" and even if,am I then pure love or pure ego?
Do I not determine all my thoughts in anyway? Conscious and "unconscious"? .........

I am me ..... Free .......

The point? of life .....

or is that not the question ......... or why is there such a question .....

An objective sense of a thing whose existence is by nature, sometimes it's its contents (act) and sometimes also it's its consequence.
The sense of a rock then is, that it is just a rock and if it falls down from the mountain, because it was hitten by a lightning and below it runs over a walker and he will be killed, then the meaning of the falling boulder, is to kill the walker. It's simple.

Accordingly, my life has the meaning, that I am living (existence), the fact that I'm doing something (content, action) and that sometimes some of it follows.

Now I can, as a subject, judge... whether I think it's good or bad (what is there, what happened there and what will follow from that) and if I can find a subjective meaning for me.

Colloquially, it usually means, that someone had "found the meaning of a thing", if they're well maintained and usually something had "no sense" just because it's disliked.

Who therefore has no meaning in his life or the sense studied in some external conditions (eg an assessment of the life, lived by third parties), who has only didn't find a way, for themselve to find a way to lead a profitable, good, that is "(subjective) meaningful" life. He either has no courage to live, so that he doesn't look at this live, because he don't not like it, things its "nothing" and find refuge with the relocation of the assessment of life on others (eg society, common morality, deity) for he things hislife or his perceives of his life is bad or crappy. This is only a matter of his emotions.

Life is not shit.
Life is.

So sow and so harvest...?

Often we ask to ourselves the question, why others seemed to have leased anyhow the luck and the bad luck properly sticks to us. Everything and everybody seems to be against us. The letter of the tax office, the annoyance with the family, the job lost, the colleagues are bullying... Disappointments in the love, money that melted away like water between our fingers. The illnesses, which seemed like the punishment of God. Why, what I have done, with what do I earn this? Why life handles so unfairly with us? It drives you to despair.

We hear, what we sow, that we harvest. We think, have we not sowed love and luck? Or does the fear, the hatred, the fury, the rage, the disregard comes back to us; all this what we have also lived and have felt? Is there really the law of the resonance? And thus we start thinking over our life checking.

To quarrel not with your destiny...

Reconciled with it; accept what was, let go what blocks you, what often takes up our thoughts so much, that there is no more space for constructive remains. And also if it sounds absurd, tries to win knowledge, even from the worst situations. How? Attemps to look once at the matter/situation from "outside". What would you see, if it does not concerned yourself, but a friend? To what would you point him out, what does he not see? Could it not be the sign of the "destiny", that the way you are going, is not the right thing for you. And the fact that it, the more you effort yourself, it becomes worse, because the occupation, the person, the surroundings is/are not "your way". Thus to seen, the "destiny" helps even, well, if one accepts it in such a way, so recognises. To stick convulsively to something and not to see that you can force nothing, ends for many in mental and health problems.

All "learnt", to "instilled" causes of these blockades, obtains only that later from it, fears, riots, disharmonies and blockades, are the result. The naturalness of a child, of body soul and mind, is filled up slowly, but actually. If you have arisen then, and stands now alone in the life, you will find no rest and satisfaction, because you do not rest in yourself and you are not contented.

Therefore everybody should wake up and empathize into hisself, wake the child in himself; everything and everybody that brings disharmony in his life, let go!

Then, nevertheless, questions once again, if really you not harvest, what you had sowed...

Never, never give up.....

Take good care of THIS day,

because he is the life -
the lives of all life.
In his short sequence
is all reality
and truth of existence,
the bliss of growth,
the glory of the force

The Past
is nothing but a dream
and tomorrow only a vision.
But today - lived right -
makes every yesterday
a dream of happiness
and tomorrow
to a vision of hope.

So, note well that day

Depressions, Burnout or Both?

What is that?

It is often talked about, written or reported in the media. And yet, what is it?
The term "burnout" is concerned, in my opinion not very happy, because when something is burned, there it hardly to rescue anything. And that's not right! Therefore, I consider the basically correct, accurate medical term for.
The professional world is talking about fatigue syndrome (exhaustion) or fatigue (tiredness), weakness and constant fatigue caused, or under a great psychological persists pressure . It is often a combination of both for a disease picture. Characteristic for a fatigue syndrome is, that the parties that are involved, are often frustrated, by seeing strong, external causes as the reason for their problems. While the typical depression in negative thinking, self-accusing thoughts, suicidal thoughts and loss of appetite, prevail. However, you should always first exclude a viral illness or other physical factors.
A fatigue syndrome is caused by prolonged stress, often several months. The person sees no possibility of subjective equilibrium in his mental state to restore. This feeling of helplessness sets in a downtrend, which may lead to self-abandonment.
But if, you shouldn't let it come so far, if you feel that your own state of mind is going in such a direction, you should seek for help earlier, there are several ways to get out of this "quagmire". A companion (therapist, counselor) who can advise and help you.

Back to the Ex?!

I get many inquiries about these problems. Outside most of the people say " NEVER again"... nevertheless, apparently it looks internally completely different. Many people try it again with each other, after a respect end , however, what are the reasons for that? Often you suddenly stand alone before "all" and then suddenly the Ex anyhow in another light. Was everything bad? Did he/she not have, nevertheless, also good sides? Especially delicately it becomes, if the Ex suddenly appears with a new, potential partner, many feel itself appoint to get the Ex back. The behaviour of the Ex often also changes, he/she looks after him/herself again, dresses smartly, starts quite possibly with the training, what was completely forgotten during the relationship. She wears the Mini again and also the HighHeels, she use Makeup again. Promises were made that you will never again fall back in the old state.
However, nevertheless, then it comes quite differently than "firmly" carried out. Slowly, but definitely! if everybody falls again in the old role and you hear the next countdown is ticking again.
The question is, is truth the base? Does you have common interests, does this person fits in character to me, or does he/she search basically for a mummy/a provider? Or were the problems not "home-baked", did they come from Outside?
Not to get into a loop of desperation, grief (because thats, what it is!)and to end in self-abandonment, you should listen to your belly... it will tell you the right thing. Who will not do that, will be sick with the time and the relationship, nevertheless, mostly comes to an end. And besides that, "the stronger is always that one who loves less....

Protection Spell

Now a little protection spell, if you think or feel this (situation, people, environment) is/are not so good for me ....

"My wall of crystal, all 'over all', includes me, lets only enter God's light and love ..."

Envelop you, in your thoughts, as if into a cocoon of crystal, do not so much questioning, simply doing and it costs nothing ... so ... :)

See things in relative terms....

Not everything has the same importance.

We often are under pressure for things which are basically not very important. It's good not to lose it out of sight. The real priorities, that's what's all about. Simply look less at the people, that have things "better" than you. One of the reasons, that we are not contented in the western countries is the fact, that we compare ourselves and our income always with others. People often doing things, because the neighbours or the "friends" also have it. Think less of the status and other outward appearances.
To attempt, in the good sense of the word, to take yourself less important "outside". Lay the main focus once "really" on itself, discover and develop the real "I". We have lost this often out of sight. It saves a lot of stress, if you don't compare yourself and standing in the centre of the universe, that you have to make always everything perfect, allways wants to be right and always everything has to happen, like we want it to be.
Even if you feel responsible for everything, then you take yourself too serious, too importantly. If you try to look quite often the situation from "outside", you'll notice that many things are in perspective....
From time to time, also Humor helps....
In this sense :D

Accept...

Take some things like they are.---

Sometimes it is necessary to change situations or matters. If someone is unhappy in a relationship, it's better not to maintain it. But the knowledge, that sometimes there are things in life, which you cannot change, steps in the today's society, very often into the background.

There is much more rest, if you sometimes just accept / take things like they are and not, in spite of better knowledge, fight against it, done by the striving for "better" and "beauty".

Accept realities; worries, misery, grief and grief, are all part of our lifes. You cannot be every day happy, contently and full energy, just like others. Stronger, it also doesn't have to.

You should learn to conceive and to estimate. Sometimes quietly take a look to what did I get or do. Enjoy that you made a choice. Try to be grateful, to attempt, for what is good in an experience or decision.

Hold your feelings a little bit under control. A long the idea ruled that, for example, the expression give up fury, steam, would help to relieve this feeling. However, it is better to find out the reason of the negative feeling, deliberate to take a look at it, without judging; to recognise, why did it has come in addition and then let it go. The reason, why this fury was based after a certain time, less importantly than you thought/felt in the situation, after a while.

To accept youself is not so easy. We lay the slat often too high, higher than for others, and we are also much harder against ourselves. Attempts to have a little sympathy for yourself, be a little mild with yourelf. You should think, that problems belong to the life and that you are not the only person, occur mistakes and pass disagreeable things.

Nobody should forget that you are very valuable, and this must not be proved!

Don't attempt to change others, because they also are as they are. It's better to find a way, wich sides you likes on this other person or you make an arrangement, which orders everything more, if the contact cannot be avoided, finish it, it' often more honest. This saves an amount of stress.

Luck is the only thing that doubles if you divides it. (Albert Schweizer)

Questions, nothing but questions?

Often people ask themself the questions, why just me, why do I have a hard time in such a way, why I am always only used... etc.

I would better ask, what should I do or what makes me sad, what disappointed me, what expectations do I have about an/my relationship, what experience do I never want to make again, what makes me sad, what happily, what do I have to change?
Do I go too indifferently, too dull through my life? Do I get the love, that I want / need? Do I give love?
Certainly the most important question is, what do I really want?

To form our life in such a way as we really want to have it, consists in recognising exactly what we want!
To reach this, we must wake up long ago, numb pictures again to life, give them again colour. What sounds so simple, mostly turns out to a laborious process. Unfortunately, many traits and needs have been already buried from childhood.
Each of us brings certain personality shares to in the course of his life shine, while others are exiled in the shadowy existence. Under it there are not only sides which we are ashamed of or which we do not want to admit, maybe at all to ourselves. Unfortunately, we also exclude shares which could enrich our life and which show to us, the way to a life, which we really want to live.
We have learnt our restrictions by our education, adaptations and favorotism of certain life styles.
However, our life becomes round only and entire if we lift our shadow pages and strengths to the light, can be enriched from them and can live thus our very own regulation.
How do I recognise myself, how am I real, what do I really need, would want and do miss. Nevertheless, not a low part of my "me", is hidden, by education and adaptation, behind thick walls, since the childhood.
Love comes and originates, if we expect it least of all, if we do not search for it. The hunt for love, does not bring the right partner. And the search for love, prepares only longing and unhappy being. We need a mental freedom to be able to love intensely.

Love is in us.
The Being of love tells to analyse, to find out, that today it is experienced seldom; means to criticise the social conditions, which are very often responsible for it.
The faith in the possibility of the love as a general and not only exceptionally individual phenomenon, is a rational faith, which is based on examination into the being of the person.“

Erich Fromm

Or freely after Kant:

What can I know?
What may I believe?
What should I do?

Spirituality in the modern free life, indicates to have the choice, to look after own internal signs of the secrets, of the nature and the universe, then to fulfil them.
Since in our time today, everything is relative and submitted to the value change. How can the soul be rooted, in the depth of theirs develop and the spring for hope and calmness be? To protect us, to be a match ball of modern age, opinions, fears or longings lifelong, which are only brought over us, to cover the sensory-like of our life?

Be your light by yourself... (Buddha)